Arguing = Love

I recently read an article (found on MSN maybe? Wish I couls find it again!) that listed some ways to maintain your marriage. I'm not married, but I sometimes enjoy reading these articles to a) assess my own relationship and the potential of that relationship in the future and b) view the relationships around me (parents/friends/family/co-workers) in terms of what "the experts" have decided are the ways to happily ever after.

Things that I found interesting...

1. They say that you should specifically schedule time to make love to ensure that you keep that part of your relationship from becoming a barrier

2. Then they say that "sex" is very important and you should schedule time to have sex and if you occassionally combine making love and having sex, it's ok, but it's important to know the difference between the 2

But the piece of advice that I found the most interesting - have small arguments! The point was to bring up the small issues that are bothering you before they becoming big deal breaker issues. Bring it up, put all the cards on the table, and work out a solution. It will help you to understand one another better and to grow together.

And I think it's good advice.

In my own relationship, I have noticed myself letting very little things bother me. When something happens once, I let it go. When it happens a second or third time, I find myself getting agitated and that's when I know that it can only get worse if I don't say soemthing. To that effect Jerry and I have been arguing (and I use that term very loosely...more like discussing) more often since we moved in together. And I truly think it is the best thing for us.

We have our little spats. We get out everything that we have to say. And it always ends on a good note. After we talk everything out, I always feel more convinced that we have a very strong, loving relationship.

Now if only I can find that article...